Before the Wedding

7 Conversations You Need to Have Before Getting Married

By Alice Prendergast, on 04/02/19
Alice Prendergast
7 Conversations You Need to Have Before Getting Married
Steve Gerrard Photography

From where you’ll live to how you communicate, there are a few things you and your partner need to discuss before getting married.

Planning on getting down on one knee? Well, there are some key topics you’ll want to dig into before you take the next big step in your relationship. You may have lightly touched on these subjects in the past, but you need to do a deep dive before getting married. From family to faith (and everything in between) these are the important things you need to talk about.

Here are the conversations you need to have before getting married.

Home

Where will you and your partner call home sweet home? If you’re already living together, you’ve got this sorted, but if you each have individual homes or flats, you’ll need to make a decision (or find a new place together). You’ll also want to talk about your plans for the future. Do you see yourselves living in a different country or purchasing a home somewhere later down the line?

Money

Talking about financial matters is key before getting married. You’ll want to delve into topics like spending habits, debt, earning expectations and the like. You’ll probably want to write everything down so that you have a clear plan for your future. You should also consider talking to a banking professional, if you need a little bit of guidance.

Sex

Sex is an important part of every relationship, so you’re gonna need to have a conversation about it. Even if your relationship is on fire right now, what are you going to do if those flames start to fizzle out? How will you keep it interesting? Are there things you’d like to try? You want to keep things exciting for the both of you, so talk about what you both want and need from your sex life.

Name

Changing your name isn’t as popular as it once was, but it’s still something you need to consider and talk about before getting married. Will you take your partner’s last name, will the two of you hyphenate your names or will you keep your own? If you have children in the future, what name will they take? This may not be a make or break, but it’s something that warrants a discussion.

Family

You’ve possibly talked about baby names once or twice, but now’s the time to get into the nitty gritty details. Talk about if you want to have children, and if so, how many children you want and your expectations for raising them. Will one of you stay home with the child 24/7 or are you willing to hire a nanny? Would you be open to adoption? Do you share the same parenting philosophies? Yes, these are big questions, but they need to be answered before you tie the knot.

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Religion

If religion or spirituality is a big part of your life, this is a conversation you definitely need to have early on in the game. Converting isn’t for everyone, so if the two of you plan on practicing different faiths, respecting each other’s religion is important. You should also discuss how you will raise your children (if you plan on growing your family).

Communication

Communication is key in a successful relationship, so you’ll want to make sure you and your partner are on the same wavelength. You should dedicate a full conversation to figuring out exactly what works for the two of you and what doesn’t. Think the two of you could use a bit of help in this department before getting married? Consider booking in a few pre-marital classes or doing a bit of couples counselling.

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